Blair Sandwich
by owmytrapezoid
Summary: Parody of The Blair Witch Project. Zim, Gir, and a random moose get lost in some random woods, and some random witch comes and they are DOOMED.
1. SPRING BREAK BABY!

"At the Risk of..." 

by Xirbot

Summary: Zim comes to FLORIDA!...and gets lost in the Blair Sandwich woods behind my house. And I'm ACTUALLY not in the story! Really! I swear!

Disclaimer: CHICKEN EATER GOD DAMMIT!

Author's Notes: I had no idea what I was gonna write, but since I always get stuck at 4 fanfictions, I had to break the spell.

hr

So this is the horrible introduction to something horrible. Be afraid.

hr

(Explosion)

Zim: Eh?

(Explosion.)

Zim: EH?

(EXPLOSION!)

Zim and Gir: AHHH! AIIIEEEEEE! AIE! AHAAAAAAAAAH! EEEEEEEEEEEE! AIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII! EEEEEEEEEEEKKKKKKK! YAAAAAAAAH! SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! YEEEEEEHEEEEEEEEEEEE! WEEEEEEEEE! WAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! BLAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH! RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH RAAAAAHAHAHAAAA RAH (snore)

(Did I...use that scream before?)

hr

I wake up. Wait, me, the great ZIM, sleeping? I'm IRKEN and...AHHHHHHHH!

"Snore."

"GIR! Where are we?"

"SNORE..."

"uh..."

"I dunno."

"NOOOOOOOO!"

An earth child strolls over to us.

"Hey, why are you-"

"WHO ARE YOU?"

"Why-"

"WHO!"

"Why!"

"WHO!"

"WAHAHAHA! Chickens!"

"BE QUIET!"

"Why are you in the middle of the woods? In an alien spaceship? With a robot? Why are you an alien?"

"Who are you?"

"Not Cyndi."

"Not? Then who?"

"Someone else."

"Oh. Thanks."

"Why?"

"Just curious."

"O-kay..."

"uh..."

"uh..."

"I'm gonna leave now."

And so the great ZIM! and his brilliant sidekick GIR!...get lost in the Everglades...and I write the millionth INSIDE JOKE! of my writing career.

And the writer's block spell is broken! BUT at what cost?


	2. The Bad Filler Chapter!

Blair Sandwich Chapter 2 of DOOM 

FILLER CHAPTER THAT SUCKS! Woo!

Summary: Zim and Gir and Minimoose get all lost and stuff O.O

Author's Notes: Yes, I did quit and leave and I stillresent this site like a PIG!...but a writer's gotta do what a writer's gotta do. Me not being a writer, I wouldn't understand that nonsense.

"GIR! Stop dancing with that camera!"

Gir stopped dancing abruptly and stared at the video camera he was holding. "CAMERAS!"

"Yes, cameras..." So Zim took the randomly-appearing video camera away from Gir and started filming stuff.

"I HAD no idea," said Gir. Then he break danced for a while.

And I post chapter three as well so that this one doesn't suck so much...


	3. Dun dun dun!

"The Blair Sandwich" Chapter 3 of...riiiiight.

Author's Notes: I guess I'm parodying the Blair Witch Project, huh? When I wrote this chapter I was really hyper for no reason whatsover. I think my hamburger helper was laced with weed or something. LET US DANCE THE NIGHT AWAY! CHILI!

Summary: This is where the story really starts and um...chili.

Disclaimer: MARKLAR

In the April of some random year none of us cares about, three IDIOTS disappeared in the woods near my house while being really stupid.

A year later, nobody cared, anymore.

And their footage was found.

DUN DUN DUN...okay.

And as you are watching this on your random television of DOOM, there's all this static and then a little robot is pictured break dancing.

"GIR! Stop dancing! I commaaand you..." says the guy behind the camera, who happens to be a little green midget boy wearing a violet dress.

And then a car accelerating and loud club music is heard. The camera pans to a red covertible with a strange flying moose hovering at the driver's seat. A bunch of really preppy, bitchy women are also in the car.

The crossdressing green midget appears to take this in stride, but the little silver kid says, "Hey, who's that?"

"What?" the midget asks absentmindedly. "Oh, that's Minimoose. Yep. Been here the whole time." Then he turns the camera back to the car. "ZIM IS TIRED OF YOUR INSOLENCE!"

Minimoose floats out of the car and over to Zim, squeaking happily.

Wow, and then it goes all staticy because Zim decides to kill Minimoose for letting that car get away and drops the camera.

And then it cuts to complete darkness, because everyone's in a TENT which ALSO appeared randomly.

There is a sound of a stick breaking in the distance, a pause, and then Gir starts screaming insanely. "WHAT WAS THAT?"

Gir screams in terror for about twenty minutes. Then he falls asleep. Then, out in the woods, some random rustling is heard, and this is so scary that everyone screams and crawls out of the tent.

"SILENCE!" says the midget behind the camera. Gir quiets down and then starts calling "Hello? Hello!"

The crackling, oh the horrible crackling, it's everywhere!

And then it cuts to Minimoose back in the tent and Gir and Zim running around mindlessly looking for evil witchs in the woods.

"MINIMOOSE! Get out here and help us!" says the camera.

"Squeak!" replies the tent!

"What! What are you, scared?" counters the camera!

"Squeak!"

The camera turns to the robot laughing hysterically and not helping. "You can't deny it, Minimoose!" And then Zim zooms in on himself for effect. "You're scared of...the bees!"

"I THINK YOU MEAN THE WITCH!" laughed Gir.

"Oh...what did I say?"

"YOU SAID BEES!"

"Did I? Huh."

Cut to Minimoose and Gir running around in the rain. Daylight. The camera's at this weird angle on the ground, and the sound of its cameraman screaming in pain is heard.

Gir stops running and asks Minimoose in his cute little metallic voice, "So what do you think happened last night?"

"Squeak."

"But nobody knows we're out here!"

"Squeak!"

Gir and Minimoose glare at each other while Zim continues to writhe from the rain.

Cut to the camera back up and its stopped raining. Woo! The squeaky Zim voice from behind the camera goes, "You know what? I'm filming my alien sidekicks on a human camera for no reason at all."

"Yeah! Woo! And look at this randomly appearing map..." Gir hands Zim a randomly appearing map. I'll be damned.

"Squeak," Minimoose said smugly.

"What? How do we know it was humans?" Zim asked the moose skeptically.

"Squeak!"

The camera cuts to the crew walking around the woods. What a surprise.

(As a sidenote...as I am writing this...I hear a pigeon outside my room which sounds exactly like the one in Dark Harvest and just keeps cooing...so, I'm going insane now...the COOING!)

Ahem...

The camera says, "WE SHALL GO SOUTH!"

"Squeak..."

"DO NOT QUESTION ME!"

Then Gir starts crying in one of those outbursts... "WE'RE GOING THE WRONG WAY!"

"There is no wrong way, GIR. If we just keep walking any way at all, we'll eventually get out of these HORRIBLE HUMAN EARTH WOODS," explains the Zim in an irritated tone.

"Reeeeeeeaaaally?"

"Yeah! Now be quiet."

"Reeeeeeeaaaally?"

Gir waits for a response and when he doesn't get one, he starts crying hysterically again and runs ahead.

Cuts ahead to Gir and Minimoose studying the randomly appearing map.

"Squeak." Minimoose proclaims.

"That's not what I said!" Gir yells at the moose.

"BE QUIET!" the midget commands. "Besides, we're fine."

Gir crosses his arms and Minimoose squeaks in disapproval.

"We're going the right way!" insists Zim.

Gir breaks down...again. "WE'RE IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE!" he cries.

"DO NOT QUESTION-" Zim starts.

"Squeak!" warns the moose.

"FINE! Let's just keep walking."

Cut ahead to...yep, they're still in the woods.

Zim stops walking suddenly. "Yes, I think we should camp here," he says dignifiedly.

And Gir is still despairing. "YOU DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE!" the robot concludes.

"Squeak! Squeak! Squeak!" the moose protests.

"No! I won't turn off the camera! And the map is in my pak!"

"SQUEAK!" cursed the moose.

"WATCH YOUR MOUTH! And SILENCE! If we just stick together..."

"SQUEAK!" the moose curses some more.

Gir cries.

Zim sighs. "Fine! Let's go look at the map."

"Woo hoo!" Gir is suddenly happy and he runs off in a random direction to look at the map.

Cut to night! With darkness!

"Squeak?"

"No," replies the cameraman. "But we don't have much farther to walk in this filthy...human..." he searchs for the right word. "PORK COW!"

"Are you suuuuuure?" asks Gir in one of those eerie tones.

"Do not question ZIIIIIM!" says Zim. He gasps. "I'm supposed to unleash the mutant gerbils upon the planet tomorrow!"

Gir giggles. "GERBILS!"

"Squeak..."

Ten million years later it cuts to DARKNESS AGAIN!

Crackling.

"Where's my boots?" asks Zim randomly because that's exactly what Heather says at this point in the movie.

Light! Yay! The camera light turns on and stuff.

"I don't hear anything!" says Gir.

Then there's...omg...RUSTLING! Oh no!

"Hear THAT?"

"It's just a deer thingy," says Gir.

"YOU'RE LYING!"

There is a BANG IN THE DISTANCE! Spoooky huh?

Gir sounds scared now. Yay, hysterically scared. "DID YOU HEAR-"

"Yes! Be quiet!" Zim adjusts the camera some more for NO REASON AT ALL!

And the rustling outside gets louder.

"SQUEAK!"

"Jeez, Minimoose, watch your language already...AHH!" Zim screams all of a sudden scaring the hell out of everyone else. "FOOTSTEPS!"

"I KNOW! I KNOW!" Gir yells as random Jeopardy music plays. "IT'S A PERSON RIGHT? AM I RIGHT!" he laughs insanely.

"Squeak...squeak?"

"It's three o clock in the morning," Zim answers the moose of doom.

"SQUEAK!"

Since Minimoose can't watch his language, it skips ahead to morning. Zim is filming these three mysterious PILES OF ROCKS outside their tent.

And that's all! The writer's block commands me! (For now). BE IN SUSPENSE! 


	4. Doom!

"Blair Sandwich" The Chapter 

So, there were suddenly three piles of rocks outside the tent.

But you know that because you're watching them on the film that Zim filmed!

"GIR! Are you SURE these rocks weren't here when we set up camp?" says the camera of DOOM!

"Yes!" Gir says quite certainly. "Oh wait...no."

"Squeak?"

Gir smiles. "YAY! WE GOTTA GET OUTTA HERE!"

"Squeak," insists Minimoose.

"INGENIOUS! Now let's get out of here," replies the doom midget.

And the CAMERA cuts TO everyone packing up the tent and crap.

"Squeak, squeak, squeak," rambles Minimoose.

"Can I dance with that camera?" askes Gir.

"NO!" Zim turns the camera to a PILE OF ROCKS.

"Pleeeeeeease?" Gir cries.

Zim drops the camera suddenly and runs over to the tent. How careless. "Where's the MAP!"

Gir is too busy breakdancing to respond, so Minimoose goes, "Squeak." How cute!

"NO I DON'T HAVE THE MAP!"

"Squeak!"

"I know."

"Squeak!"

"I know!" Zim storms back over to the camera and picks it up. "Gir, listen carefully."

Gir listens carefully.

"Yesterday we had a map. Today, the map is gone."

"Yes?" Gir sips on a randomly appearing Suck Munkey.

"Did you take it?"

"Take what?"

"THE MAP!"

Gir starts screaming and runs around the tent a few times, and then stops suddenly and says, "No."

"NOOOOOOO...okay. Let's go!"

So it cuts ahead to, hey, they're out in the woods!

"Squeak?"

"We're following this HIDEOUS HUMAN CREEK!"

"Squeak?"

"Yes, the one with the DISGUSTING WATER!"

The camera turns to Gir, running around mindlessly. "LET'S GO SWIMMING!"

He dives into the water and goes insane.

Cuts ahead toooo...the group trying to cross the creek on a log. Zim is on the log, and he looks down and his eyes tremble. TRRRREEEMBLE!

There's also something wrong with Gir, because he's laughing for no reason at all. More than usual. Yes.

Zim finally crosses the creek and falls on his face in the grass on the other side. He quickly stands up all dignifiedly. "Eh? Minimoose! Is that GIR laughing?"

"SQUEAK!" Minimoose yells a very rude comment in Gir's direction. Gir just keeps laughing.

"You know what the piggy did yesterday?" he asks no one in particular while hugging a rubber pig. "PIGGY...PIGGY..."

Zim's eyes narrow. "What?"

"PIGGY THREW THE MAP IN THE CREEK!"

Everyone looks all shocked, and then really angry. "He's just...being...Gir, right?" Zim asks Minimoose. "Giir?"

"Squeak?" asks Minimoose in as dangerous a tone a floating miniature moose can manage.

Gir catches on and hugs the rubber piggy. He starts tearing up and the Zim calms down. He sighs. "That's okay, Gir..."

Gir wipes his eyes and frowns. "I miss that random map..."

"I know you do," Zim says sadly.

Then Minimoose tries to kill Gir for losing the map. Zim's eyes widen and he backs away slowly, then breaks into a run.

Cuts ahead. Everyone's all INDIFFERENT! Woo!

"You have BETRAYED US!" Zim scolds Gir DRAMATICALLY!

Gir eats a random hamburger. The camera shows him eating a hamburger for about an hour. Then Gir suddenly notices he's being talked to. "What?"

"Squeak!" demands Minimoose.

"NO!" says Zim.

"Squeak!"

"No! I found this randomly appearing compass, and if you wanted a compass you should have randomly appeared to have a compass."

Then there's this big, awkward silence in which Minimoose tries to figure out what Zim just said. He gives up on this and squeaks angrily.

"You LIIIIIIE!" shouts the Zim.

"Squeak..."

"NO!"

"Squeak, squeak."

"We're walking south! Now!" Zim starts to stalk away.

"SQUEAK!"

"Nooo! Doom...doom on you BOTH!" the Zim replies.

"Squeak!" the Minimoose curses.

"Doom on Zim? Gir here throws the map in the map in the creek, and doom on ZIM? FINE!" Gir smiles, Minimoose curses, Zim storms away, and the camera cuts to everyone just sitting around.

Everyone looks discouraged, even Gir. Zim clenchs a fist to the sky. "Whyyy have we stopped WALKING?"

"It's okay master..." says Gir.

"Why aren't we still going South? Huh? Huh? This is the end! ISN'T IT?"

"Squea-"

"ISN'T IT?"

Cuts ahead, the CAMERA is RUNNING. The guy behind the camera runs through the woods going, "What? What!"

Gir, in the distance, says, "THERE'S CHICKENS DOWN HERE! YAAAAAY!"

"Eh? What KIND of chickens?" Zim calls.

"CHICKENY ONES!"

"Eh? AHHHHHHH!" Zim films all these human stick figures...of DOOM...hanging from the trees.

"Squeak squeak!" exclaims Minimoose.

Gir gets scared. He screams one of those crazy screams.

"SQUEAK! SQUEAK! SQUEAK!" Minimoose calls for help.

"Minimoose! Stooop! Zim coooommands you!"

Cuts ahead...it's darkness of doom!

"Let's NOT burn the woods down tonight..." says Zim.

"Squeak," agrees the moose.

"I think this...filthy THING we've attracted...only attacks when there's fire."

"Squeak."

Gir is already asleep. Awww...

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAHAHA!" Gir awakes later to sounds of giggling children.

"Squeak," whispers Minimoose.

"What was that? What was that?" Gir pleads.

There are a few seconds of silence, and then a sound that sounds like, "Doom. Doom. Doom," is heard.

"Squeak," is Minimoose's comment.

"Silence!" Zim whispers loudly. He grabs the camera. The light is turned on so you can see Gir and Minimoose being all terrified.

"Doom..."

"What IS that?" Zim asks himself. "I could've sworn I've heard that...thing...bef-"

The alien is cut off by the tent shaking and shuddering. They all break free of the tent and run off insanely.

Then a random person off-screen says, "Shit."

Then Zim says, "Oh no, the rating was upped all because of that one word! Oh well, might as well make the best of it..."

So Gir looks back at the tent and starts screaming. "AHHH WHAT WAS THAT? WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT THING? AHHHHHHAHHHHA...chickens."

Three parter! Three parter! Will Gir ever be reunited with his friend THE MAP? Will Zim get a chance to unleash mutant gerbils upon the world? What the fuck is that thing? All these questions answered in the last chapter! Chickens!


	5. Cheese Bundle!

"Blair Samich...Chapter 5! Woo!" 

Remember? Everyone's running away from the witch thing?

"IIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"

"Doom. Doom. Doom."

"Squeak! Squeak! Squeak!"

The camera light is turned off and it's pure darkness.

Minimoose sounds like he's losing his UNQUESTIONING MOOSEY MIND!

"BE QUIET!"

"I HEARD KIDS SCREAMIN'!" Gir shouts wildly.

"...I don't like you," says Zim.

So it cuts to dawn and you can see again! Yaay!

Zim stands up. "Hmm...it sounds like that horrible witch-thing is gone. Come, Minions of ZIM!"

So, the minions of ZIM! followed ZIM! back to CAMP! ZIM!

It cuts back to the tent, with everything scattered around the campsite.Thousands of rubber pigs, a human disguise, and some cheese.

Gir screams and picks up all of the pigs to check if they're okay, Minimoose squeaks but whatever he says is censored, and Zim starts filming this crazy shiznit.

"Who brought the cheese!" Zim snaps.

Gir says, "I know! No wait...I dunno."

"Squeak."

"Did you have to bring cheese that's covered in earth slime?"

"Squeak? Squeak."

"That is most certainly not water! Look!" Zim touchs the cheese and doesn't burn. And then he realizes he touched slimy cheese. "Gir! Bring me the bucket!"

Gir screams and runs over to Zim, hands him a randomly appearing bucket, then runs ahead.

Minimoose floats away.

Zim shudders and walks. "Hey Minimoose."

"Squeak?" was the answer in the distance.

"Why do you think the thing only messed with your stuff?"

"Squeak!"

"Stop being so jolly!"

"Squeak..."

Cuts ahead, omigosh is that the saaame log they crossed?

Nah.

Now everyone runs across the terrifying log and it cuts to Gir filming (filming, dancing, the difference?) Minimoose gives the camera the antler. I guess he meant to give it the finger.

"...I uuuunderstand..." Gir says creepily.

"Of course you do," Zim replies darkly.

Cuts to Minimoose floating alone in the distance.

"Awww," says Gir. "What's wrong with our moosey friend?"

"MINIMOOSE!" Zim is not quite so understanding. "Listen to me! ARE YOU INSAAAANE? You're supposed to be unquestioning!"

"You didn't have to yell at him..."

"I know, I know. Come on Minimoose!"

Nothing.

"Let's GO!"

"Squeak?" asks Minimoose suddenly.

"You smoke?" asks Gir.

"NO I do not have any CIGARETTES now let's go!" Zim's losing it.

"Squeak? Squeak?"

"Come on Moosey! We have CHEESE...I LIKE CHEESE!" Gir says happily.

Cuts to Minimoose floating all eerily and stuff. "Squeak..." he mumbles.

"None of us do, Minimoose," Zim responds. "None of us do."

"I SAWS A CHEESE WITCH LAST NIGHT!" Gir declares happily.

"You LIIIIIIEEEE!"

"WELL IT CAME THREE NIGHTS IN A ROW TO EAT CHEESE I LIKE-"

"Be QUIET!" Zim cuts in.

"Squeak?" Minimoose questions.

"I MEAN THE CHEESE COUNTRY COULD GO ON FOREVER IF WE WALK TOO SLOW!"

"Imposssible! Not on this planet!"

"Squeak?" Minimoose asks skeptically.

"Because this is EARTH, Minimoose. They've destroyed most of their natural resources."

"EARTH EARTH EARTH EARTH EARTH!" sings Gir. To the tune of the Doom Song...the EARTH SONG! Let us sing along until we die!

Zim stops and looks at something ahead, and then starts running forward. "NOOOO!"

Cuts to Zim, Gir, and Minimoose by the stream they crossed a while ago.

"That's the SAME ONE," Zim despairs.

"Noo..." Gir hugs a rubber piggy. "No..."

"Squeak!" shouts Minimoose.

Gir starts to cry.

"Squeak!"

"Yes it IS Minimoose! It IS THE SAME LOG!" Zim insists.

"Squeak. Squeak. Squeak." Minimoose floats over to the log. Defeated, he says "Squeak."

Cuts ahead to Minimoose filming Heather...er Zim...with the camera.

He sighs. "What?"

"Squeak."

"Doom. Doom on you. Really," Zim responds bitterly.

And that sentence was a total inside joke! Squee!

"Please don't fight. I can't fight! I can't listen to fighting!" Gir sobs.

"Squeak."

"STOP FIGHTING!" America loves Gir.

"SQUEAK! Squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak SQUEAK!"

"Moosey!" Gir scolds.

"Squeak squeak squeak! Squeak! SQUEAK!"

"BE QUIET!"

"Moosey!"

"Squeak!"

"SILENCE!"

"Stop it Moosey! Stop fighting!" Gir screams.

"SILENCE!" Zim repeats.

"Moosey?"

"Squeak squeak, squeak! Squeak!"

There's a long silence and then Zim says, "What are we fighting about again?"

"Squeak!"

"Oh, yeah. Look, I know I'm filming my alien sidekicks on an Earth camera! It's all I have left! I am ZIM!"

"Squeak."

"Yeah, good point."

Silence.

Whoever was reading this backs away slowly and then breaks into a run.

Then it cuts ahead to darkness again. Zim is mending a hole in his uniform for no reason. At all.

"WE'RE SLEEPING IN THE SAME PLACE WE SLEPT LAST NIGHT! WE'RE NEVER GONNA GET OUT OF HERE!" says Gir.

"SHHH!"

"Squeak. Squeak." Minimoose apologizes.

"Aw, that's okay, Minimoose..." replies Zim.

Gir laughs. "Who wants a CHEESEBURGER?" America loves Mike.

"Squeak! Squeak!"

Zim shudders. "GIR! Silence your thoughts of hideous Earth food."

"Squeak?"

"What?" I am ZIM!

"Mashed po-tae-toes!" is Gir's answer.

"Squeak," adds Minimoose.

Cuts to next morning, Zim outside the tent. "Minimoose! Minimoose!" He turns to the tent. "GIR!"

"Yeeees?" Gir asks all Gir-like.

"Have you seen Minimoose?"

"Moosey?" Gir thinks about this. He shrugs.

"MINIMOOSE! MINIMOOSE!" Zim calls.

"I bet he's going SWIMMING," squeaks Gir.

Zim scoffs. "He could hear me from that horrible Earth creek..."

"Moosey!"

"Minimoose!"

"CHEESE!"

"MINIMOOSE!"

"Master..."

"GIR! You remember how the witch only slimed HIS stuff? About...MINIMOOSE!"

Gir cries hysterically. "MOOSEY! MOOSEY FATES!"

"MINIMOOSE!"

"COME ON, COME ON, LET'S GO FIND MOOSEY!" Gir cries.

Cuts ahead.

Zim and Gir trudging around the woods, still. Zim sighs. "We're going East, Gir."

Gir looks confused. "East? I thought you said 'Here, Gir, have a taco'."

"...What?"

Gir smiles and eats a randomly appearing taco.

Cuts ahead-darkness.

A squeak is heard.

"WAGH!" Gir screams. "Is it Moosey, Master?"

A squeak of FEAR is heard.

"Minimoose?"

They unzip the tent and run out. "Moosey! Moosey!"

Silence.

"WHERE'S IT COMING FROM!" Gir squeals.

BLEATING squeak. Shudder.

"MOOSEY! Where are you Moosey! WHERE ARE YOU?" Gir calls.

The squeaks are closer and louder.

"NOOOO!" Gir cries. "YOU'RE NOT DIRT!"

"Minimoose? Where is it?" Zim asks Gir.

"OVER HERE! OVER HERE!...I found a sandwich." Gir whispers.

Zim groans and Gir starts crying uncontrollably. "Minimoose! Curses! Tell ZIM where you are!"

"WHERE ARE YOU SANDWICH?" And this line echos because it's so dramatic! Weeha!

Cuts to next morning.

Zim steps out of the tent to find a bundle of sticks and twigs bound together with swiss cheese.

"Yes..." Zim muses. "I'mgoing to just walk away, right now." So Zim walks backwards for about five minutes until he runs into a tree and ends up back at camp. "GIR!"

"YES MY LORD?" Gir salutes, then happily eats the chicken sandwich he found earlier.

"There's something out here, GIR." Zim tells the sir unit.

"What?" Gir asks vaguely.

Wooo the camera zooms in on the cheese bundle! Hoo-ray! Zim snatchs it and throws it as far as he can.

"THAT WASN'T WISE!" Gir laughs.

Cuts ahead, Zim returning to the bundle of sticks. He examines it closely and calls Gir to eat the cheese.

Gir eats most of the cheese so that the sticks fall apart and inside is...DUN DUN DUN...

Zim is disgusted. "It's filled with cheese and..." he gasps and backs away.

Gir looks at what Zim was freaked out by and picks it up. Eww...an antler. He chews on it, then screams and runs away.

Cuts ahead. Zim is at the river burning the cheese off his hands, screaming.

Gir is swimming. "Lookame Master! LOOKAMEGO! Woohoo!"

Cuts back to tent. Gir using camera. Zim looks like he's losing it. It was all that swiss cheese. Shiver.

"I'm gonna put my gloves on. I'm gonna put my gloves on. I'm gonna put my gloves on my hands." Zim mumbles.

"Aww...you okay, Master?" Gir has calmed down for about five seconds.

Cuts ahead to hiking. Gir is sitting by a stream holding a leaf. He puts the leaf in his mouth, tears a chunk off, and begins to chew.

Zim gets a laugh out of this, but then Gir grins and throws a piece of swiss cheese at him. "The CHEESE! It buuurns..."

Cuts ahead to night. Zim filming himself. Yay, it's confessional time!

"I just want to apologize to...uh...Minimoose...and...uh...Gir. May the force be with you. G'night." Zim then falls asleep randomly.

Cuts ahead to Gir and Zim running around like chickens with their heads cut off. More squeaking is heard.

"SQUEAK!"

"Ugh..."

"SQUEAK!"

"Woohoo! Let's go meet our demise, Master!" says hyper Gir.

"Come on Gir."

Zim and Gir walk towards the sound with the camera.

"SQUEAK! SQUEAK!"

An Earth house appears. Zim freaks out. "Minimoose? Minimoose! Minimoose!"

Gir's happy to see the house. "Oooo, let's explore!" He scurries away.

"Gir. Minimoose?"

Cuts to inside of house.

"Gir? Gir! Gir!"

"Let's go masta!" Gir squeals.

"Where are you Gir?" Zim demands.

"I'm in the hoooouse," Gir says spookily. Oh so spookily.

"GIR!"

A muffled squeak is heard.

"Gir? Gir? Get back here Gir..."

"I's over here! Where's our moosey friend?"

"GIR! Is he in here or not!"

"...Moosey...?"

"Squeak! SQUEAK!"

"MINIMOOSE! Tell me where you are! I command you!" Zim climbs a stair case which has a wall covered in literal cheesy handprints.

Muffled squeak!

"MOOSEY! DID YOU HEAR THAT MASTER? DID YOU HEAR THAT MASTER?"

Unitelligible squeaks and squeaks.

"GIR! I'm going downstairs! Come on! I HEAR HIM DOWNSTAIRS! Come on!" Zim runs down the stairs.

Gir screams. "MASTER?"

"Come on! Minimoose! GIR!"

Gir reaches the cellar steps. "MOOSEY? MOOSEY! MOOSEY IS YOU DOWN THERE!"

"Doom. Doom. Doom."

"GIR! GIR! WHERE ARE YOU?"

Gir descends into basement. "...Moosey?" A hysterical scream is heard. Followed by, "Doom. Doom."

"GIR! MINIMOOSE!" Zim screams and reaches the bottom of the cellar steps. The room is flooded with cheese. He sees Gir standing facing the corner.

"GIR!"

Suddenly, Miss Bitters comes out of the shadows and hands Zim a chunk of a sponge. Zim just stares. "Clean up ALL THIS CHEESE," the witch tells the Zim.

Zim points to a whole sponge. "Can't I use that sponge?"

"No." Miss Bitters retreats to the corner of the room, chanting.

"Doom. Doom. Doom."

Zim takes a breath and falls to his knees in the cheese room. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

Camera drops.

Static.

No sound.

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Whoo! That ending sucked! I only got one review? Well, I had fun writing this, soooo...I'm gonna write a sequel anyway! (Scurries away)


End file.
